Am I great because I am a missionary? Am I great because I want to live overseas and rescue children from the sex trade? Or because of the number of people I evangelize to? Or the amount of time I spend in the Word of God? Or am I great because of the God who lives in me? 

Yeah, that last one is the right answer. I am great because God is great! In fact, nothing about is really all that special. I am human, imperfect, and flawed. I sin daily and have a million areas of needed growth in my life. Therefore, my worth and value cannot be found in who I am or the passions I have. My value is weighted against the cross of Jesus Christ. He alone gives me value. He alone has made me great!

I am going to proclaim a few things over myself (and you can do the same for yourself if you would like): The country I live in, my current and future mission, my talents, possessions, passions, appearance, and all the acts of service I perform DO NOT DEFINE ME. My definition can only be described by the holes in the hands and feet of my brother Jesus Christ. 

I frequently wonder and ask the Lord what He is going to "use me for". I ask, hoping and expecting that He will tell me something really great. I think to myself, "I will know just how much He loves me by the task He gives me. If He entrusts me with much, then I am great, and He really loves me". What a lie Satan has tried to tell me, to get me to be a Martha instead of a Mary. Jesus said in Luke 10:41: "My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her".  

The truth is that my "mission" doesn't really matter. What matters is if I am rushing to the feet of Jesus, knees on the floor, with my heart pounding in my chest. If I am doing that, then I will serve my Maker out of passion, not out of approval. 

I have always told myself that I would have a "radical purpose". But what if that radical purpose it to love people like they have never been loved before, or to be an empowering wife and mother, or to teach others how to go forth into the nations. As much potential as I think I may have to do greatness, I have nothing. I have only what is given to me, and I want/ need nothing more than what He is handing me. 

I am not "too good" for any mission. I am great because He is great, and has shared His greatness with me! He desires relationship with me above all else: He wants me to know Him, love Him, and enjoy Him. This is what God revealed to me during my quiet time this morning... Just thought I'd let you in because I feel that someone needs to hear the same words. 

Love you brothers and sisters!

Kaitlyn

After leaving the temple, my heart longed to return. I knew that there was Kingdom work to be done there, and that my monk friends were looking forward to more conversations. The day couldn't have come and gone quick enough. I saddled the bike once again and made my journey to the temple with the two Bibles and a camera in hand.

I found my friend Wichet waiting at the picnic table where we agreed to meet. I gave he and the other monk their new Bibles. They flipped through them, without ceasing, as we chatted in broken English. I drew on paper, trying to explain the Gospel story, and threw my own testimony of how I was healed in there as well. Each of them seemed hungry, not because monks aren't allowed to eat dinner, but because they were hungry for the truth. 

After talking for an hour, I rose to leave. But before I got on my bike, Wichet said, "I would like to meet your American and Cambodian friends". My heart jumped at those words, because I knew that that was the next step. You see, I can only do so much for Wichet; I am leaving soon and I don't speak Khmer, making it really difficult to go as deep as I would like. So hearing that he wanted to meet my Cambodian Christian friend, the word "discipleship" ran through my mind, and I knew that God was giving him favor.

Two days later, my teammates, Kosal (Cambodian friend), and I, made our way to the temple after dinner. When we arrived, the monks of all ages (8 and up) were busy at work, cleaning mats. After a short wait, Wichet joined us at the table. The conversation moved so smoothly. He would ask my friends questions, and they would have some for him in return. 

After some small talk, I broke the everyday conversation with a question: "Have you been able to read the Bible I gave you?". He told me that he had read the first 20 chapters of Genesis. This opened the door to what would be a two and a half hour conversation about Jesus and His love. Each person at the table played an incredible role in the conversation. Kosal spoke some serious truth in a language Wichet could understand. Lauren Erb prayed nonstop for a softened heart and Kosal's words. Ashley added in beautiful bits of wisdom. And I spoke to Wichet as a friend and was the doorway to which the conversation could take place. 

The sun set, the full moon rose, and we continued talking, even though we could no longer see each other's faces. The lighting bugs came out and flew over the serene pond at our backs. The birds chirped in the trees above. And the Holy Spirit made a tangible appearance. The only thing I could see in the darkness was Wichet's silhouette, which was the most beautiful thing I had seen in a long time.

It was a good thing that the sun was no longer shining on my face, because I couldn't help but to cry a few times. The beauty of the night was overwhelming. I was a part of God pursuing His people. His relentless love had found Wichet, a Bugghist monk, by a girl on a bicycle ridding into a temple one day. Our Daddy stops at nothing to find us and give us a chance. And He has stopped at nothing for Wichet. 

I will see Wichet one more time before I leave the little village of Kampong Speu. But I know that God isn't through with him yet... Wichet will change Cambodia. And Wichet has changed me, for I have seen the Father's relentless love for His people. 

In Jesus,

Kaitlyn

After dinner yesterday, I borrowed grandma's bike and headed down the dusty red road, flat tire and all. As I looked at the Cambodian sunset, I began praying. With the wind blowing through my hair, I thought of how wonderful my God is, who paints sunsets across the sky and creates the smiling people who wave as I pass.

All the beautiful waving people came with a price. As they passed on their bikes and mopeds, dirt flew in my eyes and I was unable to continue riding. So I turned off the road and found myself riding into a Buddhist temple sanctuary. I thought of turning back, for maybe I was not welcome in such a place. But hearing the Hold Spirit, I kept pedaling towards the divine appointment Jesus has already established. 

Not knowing what I was doing at a Buddhist temple, I decided to do "prayer ride". So I prayed that the temples, shrines, and idols would be thrown into the sea of fire; Not tomorrow or at the end of time, but that very day. I asked Jesus to enter that place, to defeat Satan. I invited the Holy Spirit to have His way... And He did.

I passed a couple of monks sitting on a concrete picnic table. One of them said, "What are you doing here?!" in broken English. I played the dumb American card and said, "Hello!" with a big stupid grin on my face. I quickly pedaled on, but of course came to a dead end and had to pass the monks again. This time one of them yelled, "Come here! I want to talk with you!". So I relented and joined them at the table. 

As Jesus had planned, I talked with Wichet and his older friend for an hour. I told them my testimony and they probed me with many different questions (religious and non religious). One of which was, "Do you have a boyfriend?", which I thought was a very ironic question considering their current situation. 

As the sun was setting, I told them I had to leave because it was getting dark. But before I left, I asked them if they had a Bible in their language. They both said that they did not, but that they would like one. My heart leaped inside of me, because I could tell that they were serious about the God I was sharing with them... They had true interest in Him and the Holy Spirit was really there and present.

I told them I would return the next day, with a Bible for each of them. They said they would be waiting. I hopped on my bike, and turned around to say one last goodbye. When I looked at them in their orange cloaks, I didn't see monks; I saw future men of God. I saw men who would soon be hungry for the truth and stop at nothing to get it. I saw God's beloveds. 

As I returned home on that dusty road, with the sunset beaming on my face, I remembered why I am alive... 

Ok, so this isn't grandma's bike... Much too tall for her. But I rode this one to the temple as well. 

Wichet and I in front of Buddha.

Cambodian sunsets are the best...

Her name is Srey Chan. She is 12 years old. Has a smile to light up the darkness. Always raises her hand first in class. Sits front and center everyday. Pours tears when she thinks of past teams who came to visit. Wants to move to America to do a Discipleship Training School with YWAM. Is loved and gives love with words of affirmation. Writes me notes and says that she hopes to see them in heaven one day. Has adopted my name and is now known as Kaitlyn. Is never shy to ask me for a one-on-one. Held a Bible study at my house the other night, complete with songs, scriptures, and prayer. Always includes others. Loves relentlessly. Is goofy. And has more Spirit in her than any 12 year old I've ever met. 

Who would have thought that a small village in the middle of Cambodia, would hold a child who is a missionary in the making? Srey Chan knows the heart of the Father and wants more of the Spirit. She is running after Him, and bringing others with her. 

Just this morning, I was asking God to give these people the came chance that He gave me. The chance to know Him, follow Him, and be loved by Him.. For this is the greatest pleasure in life: To know and be known by our Maker.  And yet as I sit here, jotting down my thoughts about Srey Chan, I can't help but to know that He has already answered my request. In fact, He has given Srey Chan more than He gave me. She has such a raw faith at such a young age, and therefore will hopefully do even bigger things than I could imagine. I pray that her life will be used in the highest way... For she is bringing Kingdom here, and through her, her people have a chance as well. 

God is not only speaking to His children in America, but all over the world... Even places like rural Cambodia. Our God knows no borders, no barriers, and no limits. He can speak directly to His people, or through us... But He speaks. He calls. He loves. He gives chances. This is the God I  serve. 

Srey Chan leading us in "Silent Night"

Srey Chan is on the right... Front and center, of course!

When I envisioned myself on the Race, I thought I would be living in little shacks, in the middle of nowhere, all over the world. But as it turns out, the Lord has blessed me greatly and I have been fairly comfortable during this season. I haven't been sick, I haven't been hungry, and I have always had a nice bathroom to call my own. Until this month...

I arrived here in Cambodia about 5 days ago. After one night of staying in a hotel, my team and I were off to our ministry site. I had heard that our living conditions would be primitive, but I didn't know how much so. This month, I am sleeping on the floor (no sleeping pad because mine has a whole in it), have no air conditioning in over 100 degree weather, and have to walk down the road to get to a bathroom. The bathroom is a bamboo room with a squatty potty and a big water basin for flushing and bathing. So as you can imagine, this would be the worst place to get sick... And therefore I did. 

Yesterday, I sat in the front yard of our house sweating profusely, feeling the rumblings in my stomach, and surrounded by my sickness (due to the fact that I wasn't able to make it to the bathroom). I began crying, not because of how miserable I was, but because of how good God was, no matter my circumstance.

On the Race, I have learned that God is not defined by my health, my happiness, or my comfort. I don't love Him because He gives me good things, or keeps me from being sick. He is good because He is God. I love Him just as much when I am healthy, as I do whenever I am having diarrhea and throwing up in the front yard of my house in Cambodia. God is faithful no matter where I am or how I feel. 

Later that day, my team encouraged me to go to the city so that I could get better in an air conditioned room. I sit here now, over 24 hours later, feeling almost 100 percent better. I know that there was something really wrong with me, and I know that God healed me.

As I sat sick in the beating sun, I said to myself, "There's still no place I'd rather be than here, because here is where you want me". Even when it can appear as though God has forgotten us, He hasn't. He never does. He is ALWAYS faithful. I will praise Him in the storm. 

No matter where you are, how you feel, or what is going on in your life, praise Him. Giving praise to the perfect God of the universe for who He is, is the way to survive your trials. Don't be fooled into thinking that He has forgotten you, doesn't care, or is punishing you. Know that He loves you and is worthy of your praise, no matter where you find yourself. And remember, He doesn't owe you anything. 

Grace, peace and health to you all,

Kaitlyn

Side note: I won't have internet this whole month. I only have it now because I came into the city. So, there won't be any more blogs till the end. But you should know that I am teaching English this month an evangelizing to the community. The ministry is great and the children are precious!

Verse of the Month: Love is patient and kind. It is not boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand it's own way. It is not irritable, and keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love ever gives up, never looses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through ever circumstance. 1 corinthians 13: 4-7. 

Before every meal, the girls recite this verse in Thai. It is so appropriate for them to remember the meaning of love, especially considering where they come from.

Favorite Food: Pineapple Curry, Pad Thai, fried chicken, any other Thai food, and... 7/11 convenient store. 

Hardship of the Month: The hardest part about this month is that I must leave. Thailand has been my favorite country and the first place I want to return. I can honestly say that there has been nothing hard about this month... I have loved every minute!

Our Ministry: This month, I have been living in a children's home. All of the children who live here used to be at risk of being sold into the sex trade. Remember Nhu has trained people to go into the villages and look for children who are about to be sold. They are offered the opportunity to come here instead and receive an education all the way through college. Here, they also learn of the true God!

Favorite Moments: (1) There is a little girl here who should be on the Asian version of Toddlers in Tiaras. One day, she was trying to gt into someone's candy, so I told her Mai Chai! (No!). To which she turned around, said Chi! (Yes!), and karate chopped me in the neck. (2) Falling in love with an elephant. (3) Prayer walking through the Red Light District. (4) Worshipping with the kids on the balcony. (5) Praying in the rain for 45 minutes. (6) Making a tea party for a few of the girls. When I asked them what they wanted to eat, they said, "We are six!"... Darn language barrier!

What God Taught Me: God showed me just how much He loves His children. His love never fades, never gives up, never runs out on us. He is always faithful and sovereign. He loved on me a lot this month... He has given me so much more than I deserve and need. I have been blessed beyond belief and have so much more (spiritually, emotionally, physically, relationally) than I deserve. But thank God that is isn't about what I deserve, but about how much He loves me... And it is the same for you! We cannot earn His love; We are given it. It is a gift!

    Elephant hickie... He was literally suctioning my ear.

    Seriously, my new favorite animal. How can there be anything cuter?

   Sweet elephant kisses. 

     I advocate a Big Gulp... At any age. 

      My mom once made a tea party for me at this age. 

    I think they loved it as much as I did.

   These are the sweetest girls in the world... 

   And they LOVE the camera!

 Children in the Hill Tribe Villages

        Some are trapped... Only to be freed by our Daddy. 

    Freed and dancing

   Go light your world.

Just three weeks ago, she walked dirty streets, barefoot and on the verge of being sold into the sex trade. Her hair was cut with a pair of careless hands. Her smiles were rare and her laughter forced. She was hopeless, desiring more, and needing love not being given. Then, her Daddy stepped in...

It's Easter morning, and I am drinking my morning coffee. After taking my first sip, I notice something moving out of the corner of my eye. I look over and see Grace, spinning in the morning light which flooded through the front door. She is wearing a white dress covered in purple and pink flowers. She spins with a smile, unaware that I am watching. She keeps her eyes fixed on the dress which moves around her body. She smiles because she knows she looks beautiful. She knows that just a few weeks ago she wouldn't have been able to wear such a beautiful dress, let alone keep it clean. Yet here she is, dancing and spinning and feeling like the daughter she was created to be.

Once she realized I was watching, she rushed over and jumped in my arms, laughing the whole way. I held her and told her how beautiful she was. Running my fingers through her still choppy hair, I felt the love of our Papa. I felt the passionate love that walked Jesus to the cross. The love that pulled her from the garbage dump and brought her to a palace. His love has taken off her filthy garments and robed her in beautiful light. 

This Easter, I saw the tangible love of the Father. I saw how His love resurrected the Son from the grave, and how that same love resurrected Grace from the dump. Our King Jesus now sits at the right hand of the Father on His throne. And Grace now wears a beautiful white dress in the arms of her Maker. 

He was resurrected... And therefore, so are we. 

"You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy." Psalm 30:11

Just three weeks ago, she walked dirty streets, barefoot and on the verge of being sold into the sex trade. Her hair was cut with a pair of careless hands. Her smiles were rare and her laughter forced. She was hopeless, desiring more, and needing love not being given. Then, her Daddy stepped in...

It's Easter morning, and I am drinking my morning coffee. After taking my first sip, I notice something moving out of the corner of my eye. I look over and see Grace, spinning in the morning light which flooded through the front door. She is wearing a white dress covered in purple and pink flowers. She spins with a smile, unaware that I am watching. She keeps her eyes fixed on the dress which moves around her body. She smiles because she knows she looks beautiful. She knows that just a few weeks ago she wouldn't have been able to wear such a beautiful dress, let alone keep it clean. Yet here she is, dancing and spinning and feeling like the daughter she was created to be.

Once she realized I was watching, she rushed over and jumped in my arms, laughing the whole way. I held her and told her how beautiful she was. Running my fingers through her still choppy hair, I felt the love of our Papa. I felt the passionate love that walked Jesus to the cross. The love that pulled her from the garbage dump and brought her to a palace. His love has taken off her filthy garments and robed her in beautiful light. 

This Easter, I saw the tangible love of the Father. I saw how His love resurrected the Son from the grave, and how that same love resurrected Grace from the dump. Our King Jesus now sits at the right hand of the Father on His throne. And Grace now wears a beautiful white dress in the arms of her Maker. 

He was resurrected... And therefore, so are we. 

"You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy." Psalm 30:11

There are many times when we Racers enter into a ministry and see only one aspect of the vision while we are there. We may be working at a hospital and see the patient in their hurting state, but never see where they come from or them healed. We may be building a church, but were never there in the beginning stages to see the struggle and God's provision. But this month has been different... This month, I have seen it all.

I'll start with the Hill Tribe Village: My team and I got to go to one of the villages on the outskirts of town. We walked the dirt streets and saw where the little kids, who now live in the homes, come from. There were children playing in the streets, men beating metal, and old women cooking outside of their house which are built on stilts. We could tell which houses had sold their children into the sex trade because those houses were significantly nicer. And at that sight, I thought of how there would have been many more beautiful houses had Remember Nhu not entered the village and surveyed for children who were at risk of being sold. 

The night before we went to the Hill Tribe Village, we visited to the Red Light District and did a prayer walk. I will spare the details of the things I saw and heard, but I will share enough to give you a picture. I saw men, white men from America or Europe, walking the streets looking for women to buy for the night. I saw young girls, maybe 8-10 years old, getting off the back of motorbikes, being returned to their brothel. I saw young boys being preyed on by men, and other boys who were forced to have a sex change because they can bring in a lot of money. My stomach turned at the sight of these things. I battled hating the men, and loving them because they are just as in need of the Gospel as any. When I saw the young girls crying because they had just been violated, I thought of my brother and sisters, and I told myself that I would do anything to help them, just like I would my babies at home. 

And that brings me to here: The children's home. I saw where they came from. I saw where they are sent. And I daily see where the Lord has brought them to. These girls have never been sold, have loving house parents who teach them the Word of God, are sponsored all the way through college, and know the saving love of the Father. What could be better than that?

I'll be honest, I want to be a part of this for forever. I have was able to see the whole scope of God's hand here in Thailand, and His passion for rescuing His children in just 24 hours. I cannot think of a worse thing to be done to a child that to steal his or her innocence. The good news is that we can prevent it from happening all together! 

Cindy  and I at the girl's baptism

Cultural Dinner

Traditional Thai Dancing

This journey has been a wild one. I have seen God open the eyes of the blind, heal hearts (physically and spiritually), and bring people out of darkness and into light. I have also walked in so much freedom myself: I now know who I am in the Lord, I have seen my imperfection erased by His perfect name, and I have heard the Lord tell me that I will go to the nations all the days of my life. I have been forever changed in just a few months as I have had the honor of seeing the world change, little by little. 

I want to thank all of my supporters, all of you who have been praying for me, giving financially, and asking me about the things God has been doing all over the world. I would not be where I am, who I am, and have the vision for the future that I do without your love, prayers, and support. Thank you for being such a great example of the body of Christ. We are all different parts of the body and you have been so faithful in your calling. 

For those of you who have been praying for my health: He has answered. I have not been sick once.

For those of you who have been praying for spiritual protection: Satan has not touched me, unlike past mission trips.

For those of you who have been praying for my heart: It is better and healthier than it has ever been. 

For those of you who have been praying that God would bring the Kingdom through me: It has been BROUGHT!

For those of you who have been asking God to move in crazy ways: He has has moved unlike I have ever seen Him move before!

You need to know that you have been heard. You need to hear from me that the things you have asked God for, are coming to pass, all without exception. So now I hope you know that I really could not do this without you. 

I also wanted to let you know that I checked my support account the other day. It seems that a number of my monthly supporters have had to cease supporting me. I had stated before I left the States, that I was fully funded with my monthly donors included, and now that some have dropped off, I am no longer fully funded. 

I would like to ask you to help me finish this Race! Please continue to help me in prayer (that is the most important thing), and also in funds. I still need another $1,180.00. This will cover the remaining support needed to fund my daily living expenses, as well as reimburse me for the travelers insurance, vaccinations, and plane tickets I have had to buy in order to be here.

I am not coming home the same. I am not coming home for forever. And I am not coming home without your support. 

Thank you so much for loving me and the nations so well. I love you all and look forward to getting to share stories with you in the days to come.

In Him,

Kaitlyn

(If you would like to donate, just click on the Support Me link under my picture on the left)

Katalina and I in Romania. This was just after we prayed for her heart problems, anointing her with chap-stick, and seeing her healed right before our eyes. We went back to see her only a week later, and she was completely healed!

Gabriel, the man who received his sight on the bridge of the blind. Because of his faith and eagerness, God healed him before this picture was taken.

My babies: Erica and Samuel. Samuel couldn't smile when I first started visiting the Burn Unit in Bolivia, but was filled with the joy of Lord when I left. He is somewhere in the village, bringing  the Kingdom... I just know it!

Children learning about Jesus in a Swaziland preschool.